Sixteen years ago I wrote Kezar, a novel about Light and Dark forces. In it Morgaine, the protagonist, uses feminine power that we have kept hidden for centuries.  From the opening:

The Way of Darkness is deeply rooted in our society⏤many of its beliefs part and parcel of our culture. When did the Light and Dark become separate? Was it when we began to spend more time working, making money, and less time simply Being? Is it because thinking has become paramount to feeling, to sensing? Perhaps the world is shutting down. Nothing makes sense any more. Not death, where nothing changes and life, where nothing stays the same.

During my exercise routine this morning (where I seem to be most creative) it occurred to me that it was time to revisit Kezar, do a bit of editing and rewriting, and see where that takes me. (In writing Kezar I had the mentoring help of Jennifer Lee (Frozen, A Wrinkle in Time) and my editor/agent Barbara Bowen. At the time I didn’t fully realize how very fortunate I was to have guidance and input from these two creative minds.)

Maybe it is watching the “me too” movement continue to grow, or seeing the women dressed in black at the Golden Globes that is pulling something I sense but can’t yet put words to, into my awareness. What I know is that there is a force making itself known that is long overdue. In retrospect, we have been preparing for this time in history all of lives.

“You watch. The time has come,” he said. “Women are gonna take charge of society. And they couldn’t juxtapose a better villain than Trump. He is the patriarch. This is a definitional moment in the culture. It’ll never be the same going forward . . . The anti-patriarchy movement is going to undo ten thousand years of recorded history.” (Steve Bannon, as said to journalist Joshua Green in The New Yorker February 11, 2018.)

I think he’s right, it is a defining moment, but it won’t be just about women.

It would be remiss of me to write as though only women represent the feminine. I know many wonderful, sensitive, creative men⏤men that I am honored to call my friend/colleague/soulmate. My father was the first man (and love) of my life. Even though he died when I was young, much of who I am and what I stand for are a result of what he taught me. From him I learned that the feminine is our Soul, our intuitive sense. She is soft, clear and powerful. When we are too busy making our way in an aggressive world we can’t hear what she whispers.

Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but a war is raging between the structures of lies and the lightning flash of truth. Quite simply, we have arrived at that moment in our story where we find Truth⏤Truth that shatters our perceptions and makes us reassess our beliefs. I am waking up to the fact that anything I believe to be true could turn out to be false.

Sometimes it takes a very bright flash of light to reveal a truth that is well hidden. And sometimes it takes an earthquake to bring down beliefs that were cleverly constructed (and reinforced) for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Because we have been drugged by our beliefs and the normalcy bias⏤that today will be just like yesterday, we have normalized darkness. The good news is that the Truth will eventually make it’s way to the light. These days I keep my knees flexed and expect to be shaken up, blinded by a revelation.

What’s most important for me to remember is that the tearing down of this structure, however painful, allows me to find out what is true and reliable. What will stand rather than fall apart?

Who will stand with us, rather than attempt to silence our Voices?


Spiritual Bypass

by Winter on January 14, 2018

When I was nine years old, plus or minus a year or so, I read Edgar Cayce’s book, There is a River. I was so taken with it I began to tell everyone that I was psychic. That lasted until I fell in love with Nancy Drew and began to announce that I was going to be a detective when I grew up.

One of my on-going fears as an only child was that my Daddy would die and leave me. This was an uncomfortable feeling and did not sit well with me (being the psychic that I said I was.) Some things I simply did not want to know, even if they were potentially true.

At sixteen, my 56 year old father died unexpectedly of a massive heart attack.

For the three days surrounding my father’s death his Spirit was with me, planning his funeral and telling me things⏤specific things I needed to know. The night after his funeral he said goodbye, telling me that he had to go on, he had things to do.

(I know what you are thinking, the same thing I often think. Why didn’t I ask him where he was going? Why did he have to leave? How could he leave a 16 year old daughter and her 49 year old mother? Because I didn’t think of questions  like that.)

Shortly thereafter, I returned to my life at school.  Away from home. Away from reminders that my Daddy was no longer there.

Emotionally numb, for six months I never shed a tear. One day, I started crying and I could not stop.  The pain, the ache was too great. How could I have known my Daddy would leave me and there was nothing I could do about it?  I wasn’t even with him when he died.

It was twenty years before I realized that his death had blown open a portal to other dimensions. I remembered that I had a grandmother who just “knew” things⏤who saw fairies dancing in the rain and angels hanging over the graveyard. A grandmother who conversed frequently with the “long dead” and (or so it was rumored) never, ever set foot in a church.

The next time this portal opened I was so excited I became lost in the magical New Age movement of the 80’s. It felt good. I knew there was more, I had been there and experienced the “something more.” Even so, every now and then I would slip and feel the pain of my fathers death. Part of me wondered, since I had experienced his Spirit, why I was sad that he was no longer with me in physical form?

Almost daily, I questioned the idea that if everything is “illusion,” why can’t we just imagine a new way of being and fix problems we see in the world? Why can’t we think, as Einstein suggested,  in a way different from the thinking that caused the problems? If we are “one with everything” why are we so mean to each other?

That question is connected to another question Michael frequently asks, “How can we, as humans, not feel the destruction we are causing to the planet and to ourselves? How can we not feel, or sense, our behavior is killing the bees, polluting the rivers and our oceans, destroying the soil: the very things we need for survival?”

Why won’t, or can’t we wake up? Could it be that culturally we are using our spirituality, our spiritual-bypass systems to avoid Truth, the very thing we are seeking? Has our Ego hi-jacked the true essence of what we are (living, breathing, feeling, emotional human beings) by suggesting that if we are on our spiritual path everything is just as it should be? Don’t worry about climate change, Fukushima, politicians (to put it mildly), Monsanto or the bees.

Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretence. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true. (Adyshanti)

The term spiritual bypassing fits perfectly with our culture which normalizes the need to always be happy, to feel good, to turn away from what is painful. This is who we are.  If we are depressed we find something to deaden our senses: a pill, a drink, some type of entertainment. All that bad stuff is happening somewhere else, not to us. And we are leading ourselves down the path to extinction.

Several years ago I was flying between Boston and Dayton, Ohio. The plane was full, except for two empty, middle seats, one next to me. At the last minute, two very well-dressed gentlemen boarded the plane and asked if anyone would be willing to exchange their seat so they might sit together. My thought was not “I will,” but, “I wonder which one will sit by me?”

During the flight the gentleman who took the seat next to me looked over at what I was reading and said, “That is a very interesting book.” (Really? You have read Clan of the Cave Bear? )

He proceeded to tell me that he was a banker and that a few years ago he realized that he wasn’t feeling anything. Someone could tell him a horrific story and he had no emotions. Wanting to change this, he decided to start literally feeling what he touched. He ended by saying, “Now I feel life, I feel the emotions of anyone I meet.”

In Spiritual Bypassing, Robert Masters reminds us that in our efforts to bypass our earthly challenges, we have disconnected from Mother Earth, the Ground of our very being. It doesn’t appeal to the part of us that wants the path to be easy, but it certainly speaks loudly to the part that longs for Truth.

An astrologer once told me I was searching for Truth with a capitol T. Until recently, I didn’t realize my search for Truth began with the ground under my feet.


‘Tis Mid-Winter Season

December 10, 2017

This time of year I struggle with the part of me that wants Christmas to be what it was when I was a child: Christmas Carols, sparkly lights on a real tree, playing Mary in a nativity scene, the smell of sugar cookies baking in the oven and great anticipation of what I might find […]

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Let us be still…

June 6, 2017

“To the rationally minded the mental processes of the intuitive appear to work backward. Conclusions are reached before the premises.” ~Frances Wickes: the Inner World of Childhood Many of us have grown up in a culture where we think of our doctors as “God.” They were, and for the most part still are, the experts […]

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To Fear, or Not to Fear….

May 8, 2017

Daniel Quinn’s Ishmael and Michael Crichton’s State of Fear are two books that recently called to me. I couldn’t leave either on the used book shelf. Both use an intensive bibliography to weave a similar theme⏤a theme I have been pondering for quite a while. Both re-ignited my previous thoughts about propaganda, fear and intuition. […]

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Our Search for Truth is Hiding in Plain Sight

March 9, 2017

In a room where people unanimously maintain a conspiracy of silence, one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot. ⏤Czelaw Milosz Frequently, I am amazed how the universe conspires to help me wake up. Three weeks ago I slipped on the granite steps at my mother-in-law’s home and broke my right wrist (I am […]

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February 13, 2017

Some say that the Civil War was a war the South can’t forget and the North can’t remember.  Growing up, I thought the Civil War happened sometime during the 1940’s.  I didn’t realize it was 100+ years prior because my family, cousins, and Southern friends talked about it as though it had happened yesterday. Thinking […]

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Winter Solstice 2016

December 16, 2016

Many of you have asked me why I have not posted since the election.  You long for something I would offer that is uplifting, that will help you make sense of what you see; something that will make you feel better because everything will be OK.  Perhaps you long to know that tomorrow will be […]

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Shaking up the senses

October 4, 2016

Much of my professional career has been spent teaching, writing and reminding others about the need to be aware, in essence, to “wake up!” There is no doubt that I teach what I need to learn. I constantly remind myself to pay attention, to be aware. Recently, I took a spill while walking our dogs […]

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It’s always about the magic…

September 7, 2016

It’s been a while since I posted, and since I have several programs on Medical Intuition coming up, I thought I would give you my perspective on the process. First and foremost it’s about the magic…and we find magic through exploration. After my Gateway week at the Institute I kept returning, not only because of […]

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